Emotional Wrangle

• Need an emotional first aid kit
  • wait 90 seconds when experiencing a negative emotion and notice how it passes
  • 4 7 8 breathing technique daily
    • inhale 4
    • hold 7
    • exhale 8
• Break rumination cycles
  • name 5 things you can see right now
  • physically move to a different location
  • performance an activity that requires focus that takes 3 min
  • choose 1 production action related to the problem (if possible) and perform that
• Spotlight Effect
  • Understand that most people don't think about you, your mistakes are usually overlooked or quickly forgotten.
• Third Person Self Talk
  • Self talk -> refer to yourself when performing internal dialog as your name instead of "I" Reference
• Mental Contrasting
  • Visualize the desired outcome and its benefits
  • Identify which obsticals you will face
  • Create if then plans for those obsticals
• Building Antifragility
  • Systems that thrive in:
    • Disorder
    • Uncertainty
    • Stressors
  • Requires
    • Voluntary Discomfort baked into routine
      • cold showers
      • difficult conversations
    • Redunancy
      • Have both Plan A and Plan B
    • Reframe the Idea of stress as an ingredient required for growth
      • The obstical should be exciting, something to be conquered
• Stockdale Paradox
  • "You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end, with the disipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality"
• 3 Cs
  • Catch (identify your cognitive prediction)
  • Check it (is your cognitive prediction correct)
  • Challenge it (try to refine your cognitive prediction to be more accurate, even if (and especialy if) the destitation might be "We don't know for sure")
• Constructing your personal resilience system
  • Regular practice of
    • Physiological Regulation
      • 478 breathing technique
    • Cognitive Framing
      • Stockdale Paradox
      • Third person self talk
    • Behavorial Patterns
      • Implement 90 second rule
      • Mental Contrasting
    • Social Connections
      • Find 3 to 5 people of your support network

Weird Ideas

• People seem to be more willing to make very hard desisions if the painful cost of that desision gets delayed or where they don't have to drive
  • example 1: People wanting to lose weight will prefer taking a shot that makes them feel sick as hell, rather then eat healthy and exercise
  • example 2: Developers choose Python over Rust because they prefer being caught with their pants down in production because of a silly bug that could have been caught by a compiler, vs just feeling the pain of a compiler kicking the shit out of you until you get it right.
  • example 3: People will put forth a ton of effort into things, but avoid something if it looks (not that it is) out of reach. Learn the ins and outs of next.js, won't touch systems programming
• Self help is nothing without implementation (e.g., plan for change but well get to it later approach)
• I think I want to create a system that I can use and also share somehow
  • Target everyone they way the Rust compiler forces you to become better
  • Have a burn journal that someone can write into but it will auto delete in some amount of time
    • This will get them around the anxiety of someone finding reading the journal but still let them write and reflect on their actions
• I find comfort in arriving at conclusions of uncertainty
  • Certain topics like politics are always trying to get us to "take a side" but thats only harmful since you end up defending someone elses flawed ideas and become unable/unwilling to observe another perspective. In other words you become incapable of critical thinking.
• Cognitive prediction and core belief are the same thing
• Working on this framework and practicing these ideas feels like a good distraction to break a rumination cycle
• I always seem to break a bedtime rumination cycle by getting out of bed and using the bathroom.
• Can try and practice my ideas on my friends

Tips

How to be positive

• Comes with always focusing on the positive
• Try building a list of things you find awesome about something, and keep trying to add to it. (helps you reflect on whats already their and keeps you focused on adding new things)

Favorite Quote

The gift of mental power comes from God, Divine Being, and if we concentrate our minds on that truth, we become in tune with this great power. ~ Nikola Tesla

Dream Job criteria

Together autonomy, mastery, and purpose are the three most powerful human motivators. If you have found a job that offers all three, then you have found a job that you will love and a place where you can do the work you most proud of.

Sabath Notes

Rules (as I understand them)

No Play if it involves others to work

• The rule: No play if it causes others to work to get that play. Playing an MMO for example requires servers to be running which need to be monitored by people thus people are having to work because you play.
• The reason: Sabath is a coordinated effort, everyone must be off at the same time otherwise everyone gets pulled into working via dependency chain.
• What you can do: Read a book, ride a bike (no fixing that bike if it breaks).
• Weird but true: Guess I can't have any lights or heat on in my house either, powerplant workers need a day off too.

Worksheets

ABC Sheet

A. Activating Event "Something happens"

B. Belief / Stuck Point "I tell myself something"

C. Consequence "I feel something"

Follow-up:

1. Are my thoughts above in column B realistic or helpful?

2. What can I tell myself on such occasions in the future?

5 Column Thought Record

1. Situation Describe what happened. What were you doing at the time? What (if any) distressing physical sensations did you have?

2. Emotions What emotions(s) (sad, anxious, angry, annoyed, etc.) did you feel at the time? How intense (0 - 100%) was the emotion?

3. Automatic Thoughts What thought(s) went through your mind?

4. Alternative Response (Optional) What cognitive distortion did you make? (e.g., all or nothing, mind reading, catastrophizing). Use the questions to compose a response to the automatic thought(s). How much do you believe each response?

Questions to help compose an alternative response (Evaluation Questions): (1) What is the evidence that the automatic thought is true? Not true? (2) Is there an alternative explanation? What could be the effect of changing my thinking? (3) What’s the worst that could happen?Could I live through it? (4) What’s the effect of my believing the automatic thought? (5) What should I do about it? What’s the best that could happen? What’s the most realistic(6) If ________ (friend’s name) was in the situation and had outcome? this thought, what would I tell him/her?

5. Outcome How much do you know believe each automatic thought? What emotion(s) do you feel now? How intense (0-100%) What will or did you do?